Books by popular authors receive hundreds, if not thousands of user reviews in no time. You may have noticed, however, that I’m not chasing James Patterson on the Top Charts lists, and that probably won’t change any time soon. So I’ll take my milestones where I can get them.

Below, a screen capture of Dead Weight reviews on the iBooks Store. Full transparency, friends and family account for eight of those reviews, and naturally, none of my besties had anything but praise. (I’m sure half of them used it for kindling, but thanks for your positivity, guys!) Anyway, just as important are the reviews from real customers (AKA, people who aren’t related to me and don’t know me).

51 total reviews so far. 45 of them like or love it. Four of them rank it as somewhat mediocre. And two think it’s a pile of dog shit.

[Shrugs.]

Pretty good. Even if you lose the eight glowing reviews from friends and fam, those are solid numbers. Which, you know, is encouraging.

I always hear from authors that they’re filled with self doubt, and my response is yes, absolutely, one-hundred percent confirmed. We put this stuff out there and we hope somebody will like it as much as we do. But we never really know. And in the dark crevices of our minds, we’re somehow certain everybody’s going to despise every word.

These reviews — at least so far (and there’s that doubt again) — indicate that at least some folks are enjoying Dead Weight. Except, that is, for the single dickhead who gave it a one-star review.

I’m not mad. I swear.