Dose of reality. I work for a living. I’ve got a wife. Three kids. And a super dumb dog. He eats a lot of shit he shouldn’t — tonight, for instance, someone’s retainer. That bears no significance to this post except to illustrate that he’s a pain in the ass. I also like to play video games, as evidenced by my habitual relationship with them. I’m not making excuses. I’m not. Really, I’m not.

OK, I am.

Aside incoming: did you know that nobody, all the Internet gods included, seems to know where ‘OK’ originated? Or what it stands for? Which is why you can pretty much write it all sorts of acceptable ways. OK? Sure. Okay? Why not? Ok? Don’t do that. It must stand for something. And if it doesn’t, then write ‘okay.’ Either way, ‘Ok’ is for assholes.

Anyway, Resident Evil came out tonight. That’s where this is all leading. I should be playing it — after all, I bought it for PlayStation 4, as any person would — but then I remembered two things. First, I’m scared shitless of this gods-blasted series. Second, I need to write Sophistication, or, you know, I’ll never finish it.

Luckily, I have an ace up my sleeve. I added a repeating calendar event to remind myself that instead of drinking bourbon, playing video games, or both, I should instead do that thing that is not pure fuckery. Please observe evidence below:

There. This will solve everything. As demonstrated by the fact that this post was published at 10:20 p.m.

[Bows.]