Ulysses Pisses on You

There are roughly six katrillion apps designed to help writers write. Most suck. Some of them are perfectly serviceable. A couple are even pretty good. Then there’s Ulysses, a mixture of Hemingway’s blood and Neo’s spunk boiled for a thousand years in a witch’s cauldron. Or, I’m pretty sure that’s how they made it, anyway. Fine — that’s just a best guess.

Ulysses is what you use to write when you’re not a gods-damned idjit technophobe neophyte jackanapes. Quote, unquote.


I’ve been using it forever, and it keeps getting better. I like it because there’s a dark mode and I like to work in the dark. And by that, I mean without any knowledge of pretty much anything, writing included. I also like that it syncs between all my devices. And that I can separate my chapters into different page tabs. Or set daily word-count goals. Or view story notes in an accessible side-bar. Plus about six katrillion other things. That’s also a real number.

Here’s what it looks like — and get ready, for I’ve screen-capped a scene direct from my latest book, hashtag spoilers, hashtag nobody cares, hashtag cry myself to sleep, hashtag why am I spelling out hashtag? This is a pivotal scene about a guy taking a dump in a hotel sink. It’s called Sophistication for a reason, people.


Go ahead. Take a moment. Wipe those eyes. It’s all right. All of us are overcome with sweeping emotion at one time or another.

Anyway, as you can see, everything looks pretty great. The blurred-out stuff relates to page and word counts, which I’m too ashamed to share with anybody but my psychologist, and also chapter notes, which actually would be spoilers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s