I’m writing this update mainly to push the post below it further down the scroll. Like, for real, my previous post was in 2020? Embarrassing.

Okay, who can blame me? After all, who’s got time for a blog when you’re fighting to survive the viral apocalypse and then in the middle of all that some dudes in Viking helmets try to overthrow your government. Etcetera, etcetera, right?

Real talk: I’ve been slaaacking. Hard. At least when it comes to writing books. Yes, I am running a video game publisher by day and I’ve got like a thousand kids plus a forest of dogs and my wife’s got chores and anywayyy: Slacking. Hard.

Big props then to the San Mateo writer’s group I belong to—AKA lead, but since I’ve missed basically every meeting in the last six months they’ve just decided to move on without me. I finally caught up with them a week or so ago and the guilt of the reunion compelled me to bust out a new chapter about 90 minutes before we met. True story.

So I’ve got a new chapter. Fun things happen in it. I don’t think it’s a huge spoiler to admit that piss plays an important role. Yes. Urine. Because I’m a man-child with an underdeveloped brain. I’m not gonna keep explaining this—if you’re reading these updates, you must have figured that out by now.

But seriously, though. Piss.

So, you know, please look forward to that.

I’m still planning to finish this book soon, but of course why would you believe that when I’ve promised the very same 10 times over the last year? The last chapter was supposed to be the last chapter, but now we’ve got another last chapter instead. And it has a big, piss-filled development, which is likely to require more chapters to fully flesh out. And yes—I intentionally chose the word ‘flesh’ to follow ‘piss.’ That’s what we authors do. We build art one letter at a time.

Another quick thing that’s unrelated but nevertheless important. Coca Cola set clear guidelines when it established both Diet Coke and later Coke Zero. They were different sodas with unique formulas and to this day they coexist quite peacefully. Diet Dr. Pepper and Dr. Pepper Zero are the same. They’re all in the same family, but they’re not twins.

But now Sunkist is taking a page from 2020 and doing whatever the hell it pleases. Just found out that Sunkist Zero is, in fact, Diet Sunkist. Exactly the same formula. They just rebranded it.

What the shit is that, Sunkist?